Author: The Nooner Show

Calling all Misfits

ˈmisˌfit/ a person whose behavior or attitude sets them apart from others in an uncomfortably conspicuous way

Misfits are too often labeled as outcasts—people who are somehow less than others because they aren’t quite “normal” enough. But time and time again misfits prove that there’s nothing wrong with living outside the box. In fact, it’s something more of us should strive to do.

Steve Jobs, Walt Disney, Albert Einstein, Coco Chanel. They were a part of this elite group. And yes, I mean elite. At one time or another, all of them were labeled as misfits and scorned for not following tradition.

The thing that made these individuals exceptional was not that they followed mainstream tactics and trends. They didn’t stick to conventions and do what everyone else thought they should do. If they had, they probably wouldn’t have become such household names.

They weren’t afraid to stand out. The very thing that gives misfits a bad reputation is the thing that makes them unique and admirable: they boldly march to the beat of their own drums. They aren’t afraid to go against the grain.

Steve Jobs turned Apple into the powerhouse company it is today. And there’s a reason Apple products are so immensely popular. It’s not because the company created the same products every other company was making. It was because they weren’t afraid to be bold, to stand out. Steve Jobs celebrated differences and encouraged individual artistic expression. And he will be forever remembered for it.

Walt Disney’s brother tried to convince him to become a vacuum salesman, a sensible job, but Walt had other plans. If he had stuck to the safety of a traditional and stable job, the world might not have Mickey Mouse, or Moana, or Disneyworld. And let me tell you, that world would be a darker place!

The point is, if you have a passion, you have to pursue it. If there’s something special about you that makes you stick out, embrace it! The world doesn’t need more people who blend into the crowds. The world needs more people who aren’t afraid to stand out. Because those are the people who will inevitably leave their mark on the world. Those are the people we’ll remember.

Do you want to be remembered? Do you want your chance to stand out? Quit trying to be just like everyone else. You were born for more than that. Be a misfit!

Say it like you mean it!

Have you ever heard someone say something that sounded completely true, only to later find out it was false? Some of the most convincing speakers I know say things with such confidence that it seems impossible they could be wrong. This definitely isn’t always a good thing (you don’t want liars convincing you of things that aren’t true!), but most of the time it’s an admirable trait. Being able to talk persuasively can be a hugely beneficial skill to have.

It’s not just with friends and family, either. Politicians, business people, entertainers, teachers…some people have the ability to convince others just by speaking. I’m not talking about making people believe lies. You don’t want to do that. But some people are so skilled in presenting their points of view that their audience can’t help but take interest. The way they talk makes it sound like everything they say must be worth listening to. Now that’s a skill worth learning!

So how do they do it? It’s not just having smarts or stating a sound argument. You can’t just read off a list of facts and expect to compel people. But it’s actually much simpler than that. It’s all about confidence! Your demeanor and the way you present yourself to others make a huge difference. People will be way more willing to listen to you if you seem sure of what you’re saying.

When you truly believe in something, you have to say it that way. You can’t doubt yourself and you can’t come across as uncertain. Saying things boldly and with confidence is the key.

Confidence isn’t just useful in speaking. It’s beneficial in almost all areas of your life. It’s true that people are more likely to listen to you and believe what you’re saying when you’re confident. But exhibiting confidence can be good for so much more than your powers of persuasion. It can boost your self-esteem, improve your social life, and even reduce stress!

It might sound difficult, but trust me, it’s not! Truly, all you have to do is just put a little faith in yourself. If you believe in yourself and believe what you are saying, I think you’ll find that other people will do the same. And pretty soon, you’ll discover that you’ve become one of those convincing speakers yourself! Give it a try and find out!

“Life goes on with or with-out you.” Song lyrics by Fergie.

Sometimes you have to end relations that are comfortable but toxic.

Have you ever looked back on past relationships and thought, “what the hell was I thinking??” I’m sure almost all of us have been there at some point. The reckless decisions we make when we’re young always seem so clearly foolish looking back at them later.

But what if you were able to look at your current decisions with that same clarity? Would you make changes? Would you be able to see toxic relationships before they inevitably end in disaster?

It can be hard to see relationships for what they are when you’re in the middle of them. Sure, it was easy to tell that your high school sweetheart was really kind of a jerk looking back on it years later. But when that relationship was just blooming, did you know it then?

Take a moment and look at the relationships in your life—both romantic and otherwise. Can you see any signs that they’re unhealthy? Step away from your emotional investment and try to look at them objectively. Are the people in your life helping you to become your best self? Are they building you up, challenging you, and encouraging you?

If they’re not, you might have to assess if they’re worth keeping at all. It can be easy to stay in relationships that are comfortable, but if they’re bringing you down, it’s not worth it. Ending those relationships could be what propels you into a better life. And remember, life will go on, with or without them. Fergie knew what she was talking about!

So go on, don’t wait until you’re looking back at your life years from now wishing you’d done things differently. Surround yourself with people who make you better, and cut out the ones that don’t. It may seem harsh, but it’s sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself. So what do you say?

The best of the best have been booed a one time or another

Imagine if everyone who was ever booed, laughed at, or worse yet, rejected because their idea was stupid, quit pursuing their passion. We wouldn’t have so many great musicians, authors, products, and services. Anyone who is working towards something bigger than what small minds can conceptualize will at some point in their journey be booed. Believe it or not, some of the most iconic stars of all time have failed auditions, had terrible shows and received bad reviews.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve no doubt heard of Jimi Hendrix. One of the most renowned guitarists of all time, Hendrix was a pivotal influence in 20th-century music. His impact on popular rock music is unmatched. And yet, in 1967 when he was on tour with the Monkees, the audience didn’t even want to hear him play! They cheered for the pop sensation, the Monkees, instead.

In 1982, Stevie Ray Vaughan played an incredible live rendition of Texas Flood at a music festival in Switzerland. Vaughan is an impressive guitarist, and his ten-minute performance was astounding and raw. But he was repeatedly booed by members of the audience! He has gone down in history as one of the most well-known guitarists of his day, and even he was booed. Likely because he wasn’t interested in sticking to conventions and playing soft, acoustic tunes. He knew how to shake things up!

It wasn’t just musicians whose work didn’t go over well. Coco Chanel was a renowned fashion designer who had a drastic impact on women’s fashion.  She turned women’s fashion on its head, introducing masculine elements to her clothing and accessories that were totally unheard of before then. And how do you think that went over with the other designers at first? Not well! But she powered through and clearly, it worked in her favor.

Even Beatrix Potter, author of the beloved Peter Rabbit books, was rejected. Countless times! She was rejected by so many publishers that she eventually gave up and self-published 250 copies of The Tale of Peter Rabbit. Now, a century later, her stories are still popular and that rejected book has sold half a billion copies.

What all these examples have in common is this: they all faced rejection. And they were all massively successful in their fields. No matter how good you are, there are going to people who don’t support you. People will tell you that you aren’t good enough, you don’t have what it takes, you can’t make it. It’s inevitable.

But just think what the world would be like if Jimi Hendrix or Coco Chanel had listened to those people? Great works of music would never be heard, and women might still be walking around in completely impractical full-length dresses. The sound of rock and roll, the look of fashion, and even children’s literature would be forever changed without these gutsy game changers.

Whatever it is you want to do, you have to believe in it passionately. And you can’t let the naysayers convince you that you can’t do it. No matter how many times you face rejection, you have to get back up and show the world what you’ve got. Because, what the hell…you could become the next Jimi Hendrix! And that’s something worth pursuing.

A few years ago, a woman named Bronnie Ware wrote an article called Regrets of the Dying, based on her experiences working with people at the end of their lives. What she learned from these individuals was that most humans share similar regrets when they realize they are dying. One of the biggest was always something along the lines of this:

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

Think about that. At the end of their lives, most people regret not being true to themselves. They regret having done things they were supposed to do rather than things they were passionate about or dreamed about doing. They fell into the rut of expectation and got caught up doing what everyone else was doing or what their parents wanted or their peers expected of them. Their own identities and passions were drowned out by someone else’s opinions of who they should be.

Imagine 20, 30, 50 years into the future…what will your life look like? Will you reach the end of your life and be happy with the way things are? Or will you look back and remember the passion you had for music. The curiosity you had about travel. The desire you had to be a fashion designer. The urge to be an artist. Will you remember those passions as things that could have been? Or will they be the memories of the things you actually did?

When we’re young, we always think we have all the time in the world. It’s easy to put off our dreams for our lives in order to pursue the sensible path. Sure, you wanted to be a guitarist, but wasn’t it more practical to get that office job instead?

Maybe. Sometimes choosing the practical path really is the right choice for your life. But when you make a decision and plot which way your life will go, ask yourself this: is this what I really want?

I don’t know about you, but I definitely don’t want to be lying on my deathbed thinking about all the things I could have done with my life. I want to really do those things! So what if society says you should graduate high school, go to college, get an office job, and work until you’re 65. If you have a burning passion to pursue a music career or become a dancer or write a book, do it! Don’t die with the music still inside of you. Chase after those dreams with all you’ve got.
You only have one life. You can either live it the way others think you should or you can live it authentically, following your dreams. The choice is yours, but you’re a lot less likely to live (and die) with regrets if you’re able to be true to yourself now. Give it a shot!

Connecting the Dots

When I was a kid, I used to love those connect-the-dot activities. You know, the ones where you start out looking at a page of numbered dots in random places that look like nothing in particular, and then you end up with a perfect picture of Mickey Mouse or a cute puppy. The best part was always following the numbers and drawing short lines until finally, the picture began to take shape. I’d guess what type of picture was forming, and I always got excited the further along I got as the end result became clearer and clearer.

As a grown adult now, I’ve been starting to see my life a lot like those puzzles. I’m all about setting goals and making plans. But sometimes it feels like I can’t see the end result coming together. I’m just laying the groundwork, piece by piece until finally, it starts to take shape.

Looking back on my life, I can see the steps I took that have gotten me to where I am today. At the time, I didn’t know what was coming. I just followed the steps to the next best thing.

I think there’s a lot of value in seeing the dots connecting in your own life. Think of all the things that happened to get you to where you are today. At the time, did you see this as the end result? Probably not. There’s something so exciting about that. Maybe you can’t see what’s ahead, but if you just keep plugging along, pretty soon you’ll be able to connect the dots to see an amazing picture coming together.

Take a look at the past few years of your life. See if you can pick out several life events that were pivotal in getting you to where you are today (for better or for worse). If you’re artistic, you might even try plotting them into an actual picture on paper! As you connect those dots (figuratively or literally), try to imagine what the final result could be.

We don’t know what’s ahead. The future will always be a mystery to us. But we can recognize the patterns and events in our lives now. Take a look at those things and try to figure out where your life is headed. What picture is forming? Is it the one you want? If it’s not, see you if you can take control of your own life’s puzzle and take the steps to make it a picture you’re proud of. Connect the dots!  Why the hell not?

Ask and you shall receive…not always true, but you still have to ask, what if?

Back when I was preparing to open our first business, a coffee & ice cream shop, I spent a lot of time researching the industry as well as building my mind muscle. I read numerous motivational books and attended several business workshops. One of the books that I read and relied on for inspiration was The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. To this day, it remains one of my favorite books.

In the forward of the book, there was a message that asked for readers to help spread their message. After reading it, I decided that I wanted to help. I wrote to the company and asked them for 100 free books so that I could give them away at the grand opening of my new business. I had planned a big grand opening event (any excuse for a party!), and I wanted to entice the first 100 visitors with freebies.

I ordered all kinds of things to give away. As it got closer to the big day, the shipments were piling in our garage. The boxes arriving were small to medium in size, but unfortunately, nothing big enough for 100 books. No big deal, the planning and organizing continued.

Every day I would go through a few of the boxes and begin to organize the supplies. After a couple of weeks, I was opening the remainder of the boxes and to my surprise, one of the medium sized boxes contained 100 condensed versions of The Power of Positive Thinking! I could not believe it!

That was a lesson I will never forget. I gave away all the books, except for one. I kept one for myself and have it displayed on top of my bookcase facing my desk to serve as a reminder to never be afraid to ask for something. It isn’t up to us to decide how someone wants to answer our request. So go ahead and ask for it! Why the hell not?

Alter Ego…don’t leave home without it.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of alter egos. But what is one, exactly? An alter ego is a second self, a totally different and unique version of yourself. If you’re shy and reserved, maybe your alter ego would be bold and outgoing. If you’re normally a home-body, your alter ego might be an adventurous adrenaline junkie.

These days, it seems like every movie that comes out has something to do with superheroes. And while superhero movies are certainly entertaining, they’re also great sources of alter ego inspiration.

Peter Parker has his Spiderman alter ego, Bruce Wayne has Batman, Barry Allen has The Flash, Bruce Banner has The Hulk. All of these characters created a persona for themselves that was far different than their original selves, but it allowed them to do incredible things. Peter Parker was a nerdy high school kid, but as Spiderman, he was a hero.

Now I’m definitely not suggesting you put on a superhero costume and run around town chasing criminals. But there’s a real benefit to creating your own alter ego. It can help you be fearless enough to do things you wouldn’t normally do or exhibit parts of your personality that don’t normally shine through.

So how can you do this?

First, decide what traits you want your alter ego to have. Do you wish you were more outgoing? More confident? Quieter, louder, more adventurous? Make a list of goals and desired traits. Then give you those traits to your new alter ego.

If you’re normally afraid of public speaking, think about what your alter ego would say. “I’ve got this! I’ve got all the confidence in the world!”

Having an alter ego isn’t like having an imaginary friend or pretending you’re different than you are. It’s simply about empowering yourself to take bold steps in your life. Have fun with it. You can even name your own alter ego. Even Beyonce had an alter ego named Sasha Fierce. What will yours be called? What will it allow you to do?

Creating an alter ego can give you the confidence to go after the things you want in life. Whether you’re looking to change up your habits or simply live life a little more boldly, having an alter ego can be hugely empowering.

Maybe it’s time for you to go from Clark Kent to Superman, or from Bruce Banner to The Hulk. What will your alter ego bring out in your life? Give it a try and find out!

Trust the process

I am a control freak. There, I said it. Are you happy?  I finally have come to terms with the fact that I want control, love control, and relax when I am in control. It really has been one of my most difficult traits, and I have had to learn to adjust it. Not let go of it completely, but adjust it.

I’ve always been the type of person who plants a seed and then messes with it until it’s damaged. And then I see that I’ve caused the growth to slow down or worse, to never grow at all, just from my interference.

I have learned over time that once you plant a seed, you have to let it go. It will flourish on its own when the time is right. Trying to control or fast forward an outcome is dangerous. Not only can you damage the outcome, but you may miss out on an important part of the developmental stage. Often times, it is in the developmental stage that the “break-through” moments appear.

Every destination comes with a journey. Every journey involves a process. Trying to rush things or control the outcome is a surefire way to end up with damaged goods. I have finally learned that the process is not within my control. And I have had to let it go and trust it.

It is still not an easy thing, but it’s nice to know that the uncertainty the process brings will eventually lead to the ultimate goal. It gives my mind a comfort and more settled feeling when I accept that the process will introduce me to things I didn’t know before I started. So, let it go and trust the process.

Taking a Leap of Faith

We like to end every episode of The Nooner Show with the famous quote by Margaret Shepard,

“Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith.”

It’s a nice sentiment, but what does it really mean? Are you supposed to make a life-altering decision and then just go for it? Is it blind faith? I don’t think so.

Major life-changing decisions need to be well thought out. You have to plan, organize, work hard, and often struggle in order to reach your goals. But there comes a point after you’ve made all the right decisions to lead you in the direction of change, that you can’t analyze things any further. Hard work will only take you so far. And when you reach that point, there’s only one thing you can do. You have to rely on faith.

If you have a goal or dream burning in your soul and you’ve analyzed the pros and cons of that dream and developed a plan, then at that point you just have to take a leap of faith. You have to believe it’ll work out.

In other words, put the action in place. Lay the groundwork first. You won’t know until you try. And if you don’t try it, someone else will. So why not let it be you? It could be the one decision that changes your life forever!  Why the hell not?