Talk is cheap, but negative self-talk can be costly. What are those voices in your head saying?
A while ago I noticed that I have no problem being nice to others. I’m no saint, but I’m a good friend. Whenever a friend says “I’m looking so fat lately” or “my life is going nowhere” I’m quick to contradict them and say “Of course that’s not true!” It’s easy for me to think nice things about my friends. But it’s much harder for me to be so kind to myself.
A friend of mine swears by this self-love technique. Stare into the mirror for a couple of minutes each morning and say “I love you” while looking into your reflection. For most people, this is a lot harder than it seems. We’re so nice to other people, but showing that same level of love to ourselves seems way more difficult to do. Why is that?
The way we talk to ourselves matters as much as the way we talk to others. Negative self-talk can really take its toll on you. The effects of this are widespread.
-It lowers your self-esteem. If you continuously tell yourself you’re not good enough, eventually you’ll start to believe it. This can have a worse effect on your self-esteem than someone else telling you you’re not good enough. You can brush off the things others say, but if you’re telling negative things to yourself sooner or later you’re going to believe it and it’ll start to have an effect on your sense of self-worth.
-It trains you think you deserve less than you do. Once you start with the negative self-talk and your self-esteem begins to suffer, you start to think you deserve less than you actually do. When you berate yourself and talk negatively to yourself you start feeling like you don’t deserve the things you want or aren’t capable of achieving your dreams. It can be incredibly toxic and obviously untrue.
Benefits of positive self-talk
-Teaches you that you are worthy of love. The more frequently you tell yourself you’re worthwhile, the more likely you are to believe it. You are a strong and capable person, and you need to believe it. Knowing your own sense of self-worth trains you to believe you are worthy of love from both yourself and others. And that can be empowering!
-Builds your confidence. Being certain of your own sense of identity and self-worth create confidence. It gives you the guts to go after what you want, which can give you the extra motivation needed to accomplish your goals. Confidence is powerful! Being sure of what you’re capable of makes it easier to chase after your dreams.
So next time you start thinking negatively, stop yourself and ask if it’s really worth it. Talk is cheap, but negative self-talk is costly.